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Blackbird Page 16
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She slid down the wall until she was sitting on the ground, her legs curled up against her. She buried her head in her knees. What was she going to do?
***
The beach.
The beach was the only place she felt at ease, like she could conquer the world.
She hadn’t replied to Dave or Nate’s text messages or anyone else’s for that matter. Before Nate’s confession, and the fight with Dave, she’d come to recognize her relationship with Dave wasn’t going the way she intended. It wasn’t broken, but slowly there were cracks appearing. Cracks that had worried her into denial that it was just Nate’s presence that had messed with her relationship radar.
But now, after learning the truth, she’d come to realize that it was because of Nate, but it wasn’t because he was messing with her head and confusing her. Sure, he was confusing her, but it was because she had feelings for him. The feelings she’d denied and tried to hide were real.
She couldn’t help but be drawn to him. Their similar attitudes, though, didn’t help in certain circumstances, so they bickered and made snide remarks to each other. But it was the feeling she felt with him that gave her comfort.
Could they be more than just friends? Could she even have a relationship with Nate beyond what they were?
Dave was still away and wouldn’t be back until her graduation in a couple of days. She knew a choice had to make, but she wanted to wait until her graduation was over so she had a clear head.
When Nate wasn’t in the picture, her and Dave’s relationship seemed strong, unravelled by anything. The moment Nate stepped into her life, her relationship with Dave became strained. The more time she spent with Nate, the worse it got.
Nate had a way of making her question her relationship with Dave. Not only that, he made her question life. With Nate, the lines of what should and shouldn’t be were blurred. With Dave, life was predictable. Safe.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
Claire didn’t even bother looking up from her seat on the surfboard.
Nate.
“I needed to think,” she replied, playing with the sand.
“Understandably.”
He sat down next to her on the surfboard. He didn’t say anything to her, but then he’d probably said enough.
The close proximity wasn’t helping her at all. The silence definitely wasn’t helping
She stood up, deciding to go for a surf. She picked up Nate’s board that she’d brought down with her and walked towards the water.
“You’re not going out in that are you?” Nate said catching up to her.
“Yep, sure am.”
“I really don’t think you should go out in this type of surf, Claire,” Nate advised as they approached the water’s edge. It was the biggest surf she had seen since she started surfing with Nate.
Claire looked out at the break. There were other surfers out there, experienced no doubt, but what was the point of doing it unless she took risks?
“I’ll be fine. The worst that could happen is I get thrown off the board.”
She stepped forward, her board tucked up under her arm, but was pulled back by Nate’s grip on her arm.
“No, Claire, that’s not the worst that could happen and you know it.”
“Stop, Nate. I said I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want you to go out. It’s too dangerous and you only just got a tattoo, you’ll ruin it Please don’t.”
She looked at her tattoo. “It’s tiny. It will be fine.”
“I’ve heard that one before.”
She tried to shrug off his grip but his hold was too tight. She stared at his hand then back at his face. “Let go.”
“No.”
There was no joking or tone of humour in his voice. Nate was dead serious.
“I’m going to ask you one more time to let go,” she said demandingly. The stubborn side in her was in full action mode and she wasn’t about to back down.
“And I’m going to tell you one more time, you’re not going out in that surf. I’ll throw you over my shoulder and carry you back to the car if I have to.”
“Nate! This isn’t a joke anymore. Let go of me!”
He stared at her eyes, his face stern and determined.
“Seriously, Nate, if you want this friendship to continue you’ll let go of me right now.”
Nate let go and took a step back. “Fuck, Claire. Why do you have to throw that shit in my face?”
“Because you always tell me how it’s my life and I can do what I want with it. Well, I’m doing just that.”
“But it’s dangerous. Even experienced surfers are having trouble.”
“Can we not talk about this anymore?” she said, strapping the leg rope to her ankle.
“It’s taking every part of me not to grab you in my arms keep you from going out right now.”
Claire looked up at him. “I know. I’m sorry, but I want to do this. Stay here, I’ll be fine.”
He bowed his head, not wanting to look at her. She took this as her cue to leave and walked off into the water.
The paddle out to the back was harder than she’d thought it would be. The force of the waves was hard and rough. Her muscles ached, and she hadn’t even got on a wave yet.
She looked back at Nate on the shoreline. His arms were crossed and although she couldn’t see his face she was certain he was angry.
She watched the waves break behind her, suddenly wishing she hadn’t been so stubborn. Nate was right. She was way out of her league here. She decided she would catch the next wave in and give in to defeat.
She turned her board and paddled hard, feeling the wave form beneath her. She mounted her board and angled it to her left, but the wave was closing in too fast. She pressed down with her back leg to gain speed but it was too late. The waved crashed over her, sending her off her board.
She opened her eyes, but all she could see was whitewash. Then she felt a piercing pain as her fin drove into her thigh. But she didn’t have time to pay attention to the pain. She needed to find the surface.
She kicked and pushed her arms through but the weight of the board in the whitewash pulled her down. Without hesitation she curled over and brought her ankle to her, unfastening the leg rope and letting it be dragged away. This time she was able to kick towards the surface, but as soon as she reached it to take a breath, she was pushed under again by another wave. It spun her around like a rag doll. Her heart ached as the panic set in. She didn’t know which way was out. Her body was limp as the wave took her with it. It was all happening so fast, she barely had time to think.
She could see the wave thinning out now, light shining from the surface. She swam as hard as she could, desperate for salvation. She gasped for air, air that was vital to her survival, air she craved. Then Nate was by her side, pulling her into his arms.
He pushed her onto her back and gripped her waist. Using his body strength, he pulled them through the water until they were at a depth where they could both stand.
He pulled her upright and helped her walk through the water. When they were in water shallow enough, she fell to her knees, coughing out the water she had swallowed.
“Are you okay?” Nate asked, bending down and wrapping his arm around her.
She was okay now. Now that Nate had saved her once again.
“Yes I’m fi-”
“Don’t you dare say you’re fine.”
He picked her up in his arms and carried her off the beach to the car in silence. His heart pounded against her body. He didn’t dare look down at her. She put her hand to his cheek, guiding his face to hers.
“You’re always saving me. Thank you.”
He took a deep breath. “If you ever do that to me again-”
“I won’t.”
He closed his eyes and did the last thing Claire was expecting. He kissed her on the lips, and although it was short-lived, it was soft and supple, leaving a tingling feeling.
When her eyes opene
d he was still bent down, looking at her with the same look she’d seen before. “I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you,” he breathed into her.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
He closed his eyes and took one last breath, then raised his head and continued to carry her to the car.
The feelings she had tried so hard to push aside had risen again. She turned her head into his chest trying to think about what just transpired, but all she could see was the artwork on his body. A reminder of just how beautiful he was.
He bent down and opened the car door, then placed her on the passenger seat. “Wait here,” he said, turning and running back towards the beach.
How close she was to drowning scared her. She shouldn’t have been so stubborn. She should have listened to Nate. Making stupid decisions seemed to be the only thing she was good at. Nate had saved her, like he’d done before. He loved her.
When she thought her head was going to explode with thoughts, Nate returned with their belongings. He dropped their phones in the centre console, the car key was still in his hand. She could only presume he had gone into the water with it.
With one quick movement he ripped his shirt, pulling a thin piece of material from it.
“What are you-” she started to say, but cut herself off when he started wrapping the shirt around the cut on her leg.
I was cut, that’s right.
Claire had forgotten all about it, but the moment she remembered all the pain returned.
Nate tied it off tightly and wrapped the towel around her. He seemed in military mode as he wrapped the seatbelt around her, clipping it in, then shutting the door and getting into the driver’s seat.
“Should you be driving?” she asked as he turned the key to the ignition and pulled out of the park.
“Now is not the time to lecture me, Claire. I mean it.”
“But you said you couldn’t drive.”
“In a few weeks I’m allowed to again, so I think we can make an exception.”
Claire took her attention back to the road, cringing at every bump they hit, each jolt sending pain through her thigh.
“Where are we going?”
“The hospital.”
She snapped her head to his direction. “It’s that bad?”
His eyes didn’t leave the road when he replied, “No I don’t think it’s that bad, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. I think it missed your main artery, and there isn’t too much blood which is a good sign.”
“What about the surfboard?” she asked, suddenly remembering what had caused the injury and the fact Nate hadn’t retrieved it from the beach.
“It snapped in half. A mate I knew nearby took it for me,” he said abruptly.
Claire’s face dropped. “Oh, no. I’m sorry, Nate.”
That must have been why Nate was upset, she’d snapped his board.
“I don’t give a damn about the board,” he snapped.
“Then why are you angry?”
“I’m angry because I told you not to go out there. But you were too stubborn and did it anyway.” He looked at her briefly. “You could have drowned.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I really am.”
She couldn’t be sure, but she would have sworn he mumbled something under his breath about not being able to live without her.
She wanted to ask him what he’d said, but she wouldn’t. She’d been enough of a pain in the ass at it was, and she didn’t want to make matters worse so she sat there in silence.
***
“Thanks again, Nate,” Claire said as he laid her down on the couch. Even though the doctor had said it was just a bad cut that didn’t need stitches and she would be fine walking it, he still insisted on carrying her, and for once Claire didn’t strike up an argument.
“I’ll listen to you next time, that is, if you let me go surfing again?”
Nate had thought about telling her that he would never take her surfing again, he couldn’t risk it. He’d come to his senses once his anger wore off a bit. If every surfer stopped it because they hurt themselves then there’d be none left in the world.
“You can surf again, but only if the conditions are okay. I won’t let you go out in that kind of surf again.”
She smiled. “Whatever you say.”
A knock at the door pulled him from her smile. “I’ll get it,” he said, walking towards the front door.
The moments he was with Claire he focused on their time together, not that she was with someone else. Even the thought that she was intimate with someone else made him sick to the core. Thinking about Dave would eat him up inside, so instead he imagined a world without him. Well, that world was about to crumble to bits when he turned the doorknob and Dave was standing on the other side. The look on his face said it all. Fuck, if he was in the same position and Claire was seeing someone else he probably would have knocked his rival’s head off by now.
“What the fuck are you doing here!” Dave yelled pushing the door open further open with his fist.
“Dave?” Claire called from inside.
Nate took a step back. “Now before you start a fight I’m here for Claire, okay?”
“What the hell do you mean you’re here for Claire?” Dave stepped forward and pushed Nate backwards.
Nate clenched his fists, turning his knuckles white. “Settle down.”
“Settle down? Settle down? Are you fucking insane?” Dave roared.
Nate stood his ground, not intimated by Dave’ anger one bit.
“Dave, stop, please,” Claire pleaded, limping to stand next to Nate.
Dave’s eyes automatically went to the bandage on her leg. “What happened to you?”
“I had an accident while I was surfing. I’m okay now. You’re back early. You weren’t meant to get back until tomorrow.”
“Surfing?” He looked at Nate, completely ignoring Claire’s comments. “With you?”
“He told me I shouldn’t go out. It’s not his fault,” Claire said.
“Is this who you’ve been spending time with?” Dave seethed.
Claire stepped forward. “Dave, you need to calm down.”
“Answer me!”
Nate was two seconds away from knocking this asshole over.
“Yes, Nate’s been teaching me how to surf. We’re friends.”
“Friends? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Dave-”
Nate put his hand on Claire’s arm to stop her from reaching out to touch him. He didn’t know the guy, didn’t know what he was capable of. For all he knew, this situation could get Claire physically hurt by Dave’s anger.
Claire looked up at him, her eyes filling with tears. “It’s okay,” he said soothingly.
“Wait a second- is this the guy you cheated on me with?”
Nate saw Claire’s body tense at Dave’s accusation. She’d told him about their kiss, but didn’t say that it was him.
Fuck. This is about to turn ugly.
And it did. Dave threw a punch to Nate’s jaw, smacking him hard. It was probably the hardest he’d ever been hit but he was ready for it. It knocked him hard, but not hard enough to send him to the ground.
“Okay, I deserved that,” Nate said clutching his jaw.
Claire jumped in front of Nate. “Stop, Dave! Please don’t hurt him.”
“You’re defending him again?”
“He’s my friend, Dave.”
“So you’ll choose him over me?”
Nate stood upright.
“I’m not choosing anyone.”
“Yes, you are. I won’t have you sneaking behind my back anymore to see this asshole. It’s me or him.”
Nate studied Claire. Her mouth opened, but she didn’t say anything.
“Well I guess you’ve made your choice then,” Dave said, turning towards the door and walking out.
Claire stood stationary, not following him, not calling out his name to come back to her. Instead she watched him, watched him walk away.
&nbs
p; Had she chosen him? After so long waiting for her, could they finally be together? Or did she really mean to choose Dave?
Nate put his hand out and touched her arm.
She looked down at his hand, then turned her head to him.
He moved his hand other hand to her face, wiping the tear from her cheek that had fallen gracefully from her eye. She leaned her head into his palm and closed her eyes, tears falling from them.
He let his hands go and pulled her into his arms, letting her cry into his shoulder. He held her until her sobbing became softer, then he held her face in his hands. Her eyes were swollen from crying, and he hated himself for being a part of the reason why she was so upset.
“It’s going to be okay, Claire, I promise you. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Graduation.
Graduation signifies the end of journey and the beginning of a new one. A new time in someone’s life to celebrate their achievements, and their ability to strive and be the best they can be. A time to shine. A time to be everything you’ve ever wanted to be.
Claire’s time was now. In a few short minutes, she would be called up onstage to receive her certificate. A certificate that signified the four long years of hard work and dedication. After this moment she would be officially be a physiotherapist.
Her career was on track, she was exactly where she wanted to be, except in all other areas of her life.
Her relationship with Dave was over. Well, she assumed after the confrontation they’d had that it was over. She’d tried to call him and text him after it to try and explain it. She didn’t want it to end like that.
And then there was Nate…
“You’re up next,” the lady said to her as she approached the end of the stage.
Graduation was definitely not what she’d expected it to be. It was hours of speeches, followed by hours of handing out certificates and sitting in the hard chairs waiting for your turn. Why they did hundreds of University students’ graduations at the same time bewildered her.
Regardless, her time had come. She was dressed in her graduation cap and oversized gown. She knew her parents and Stella had come along to support her. Tristan couldn’t come for the obvious reasons.