Forever Yours Page 15

  Stella spent the next half an hour telling Jackson all about her family and her life growing up. She also told him about Tristan and how he had changed her life, made her believe in love again.

  Somehow she felt that although Jackson wasn’t there, he could hear her words.

  When she thought she couldn’t talk anymore and she had said all that she needed to say she stood up next to his grave.

  “I’m going to go now bubba, but I’ll be back, I’m not staying away anymore. You’re not alone.” As she felt the last words leave her mouth she felt her shoulders relax, she had said them for Jackson, but once said out loud, she knew they were for her. She was not alone anymore, and although she had never actually been alone, she had felt like it, until now.

  She turned to walk back through the cemetery, vowing to herself she would return.

  When she saw Tristan standing there next to Claire, she couldn’t help but smile, as crazy as it was, she was happy. She graciously walked into Tristan’s arms, holding him tightly.

  “We were so worried about you Stella,” Tristan whispered in her ear.

  Stella pulled her face back, looking at Tristan, she smiled. “It’s going to be ok. Everything’s going to be ok.” She looked at her sister now, who returned her smile, her anxious look disappearing when she saw Stella.

  “Are you sure you’re ok Stella?” Tristan asked, pushing her hair back from her face behind her ear.

  “I am, and it’s all because of you Tristan. You saved me in every way. I’ll never know why Jackson died, I don’t ever know if I’ll fully accept it, but I know now I can’t change what happened. There is a whole life out there, waiting to be lived, and I want to live it with you Tristan. You taught me to love again.”

  “But what about the magazine, the story…” Tristan nervously asked.

  “It’s not your fault. I admit I blamed you at first, but you couldn’t control what happened. Your life is crazy, crazier than anyone I know, but it’s part of who you are and when I’m not with you I don’t feel complete. If you can accept who I am, then I’ll accept who you are and everything that comes along with it.”

  “I love you Stella, do you know that?” Tristan said as he kissed her forehead, leaning into her.

  “I know.” She smiled, knowing that in that moment, with Tristan by her side she could face anything, do anything, and be anyone.

  ***

  “Are you sure you want to do this Stella?” Claire asked apprehensively.

  They were approaching the local pub, Tristan and Claire both by Stella’s side as they walked through the car park towards the door, Stella’s heart pounding.

  “One hundred percent positive,” Stella replied, squeezing Tristan’s hand for strength.

  Stella had decided that the only way she was truly going to move on is if she confronted Josh. Tristan and Claire were hesitant about the idea, telling her to do it another time, she’d already been through so much. But Stella disagreed, she felt this power within her, an energy she couldn’t contain. After she left Jackson’s grave she knew it was time. Time to confront Josh, and she feared her confidence would disappear if she left it for too long.

  Walking through the pub doors she glanced around the room, looking for him. The smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke hit her lungs as she breathed in.

  She wasn’t too sure if he would be here, but when she spotted him in the far corner, sitting in the booth drinking, she knew she was right. Turns out even after four years Josh was still coming to the pub every Sunday afternoon.

  Without thinking she strode forward, eyes focused on Josh, forgetting everyone else in the room, the onlookers suddenly turning their heads, watching Stella.

  Josh must have seen her in the corner of his eye. When he turned his head and saw Stella, his face turned hard, he placed his beer down on the table and stood up, pushing his shoulders back.

  Stella freed her hand from Tristan’s as she reached Josh, with one quick movement she slapped him hard across the face. He stumbled on his feet, obviously not expecting it.

  Ever since they were younger Stella had always been the passive one in the relationship, even after all the things Josh did to her she never stood up to him.

  Josh’s hand cupped his face as he looked back at Stella grinning, “I’m thinking you’ve seen the lovely article about you.”

  Her eyes narrowed, her anger inside her now surfacing. “Shut up Josh! You can’t hurt me anymore. You’re a worthless piece of shit and you know it. You can try and take everything I have, try and make me feel like I’m no one, like I’m nothing. But I don’t care anymore. I’m glad Jackson never had to know you, never had to see who is dad was. The cold hearted rapist.”

  Stella hadn’t intended on bringing up what he did to her, but once she saw the smile on his face, she couldn’t stop herself.

  Before Josh could interrupt she continued, keeping her composure.

  “You can try and bully me, make your snide remarks, but it won’t affect me anymore. You’re nothing to me Josh, you’re a cruel heartless bastard. You’re going to die alone, if you don’t stop what you’re doing and change what you are. I may hate you, I may despise you for everything you’ve ever done, everything you’ve ever said, but most of all I feel sorry for you. Sorry that you feel like you have to be like that, feel sorry that you must feel so alone, so disconnected with reality that it drives you to do such hurtful things.”

  She watched his smile fade, his face going pale at her words.

  “I hope one day you’ll realise that a life full of hatred is a life not worth living. It’s not too late to change who you are. Be a better person. Goodbye Josh. This is the end of us, you need to stay out of my life. I don’t ever want to see or hear from you ever again.” She stared into his eyes, all the feelings of ever been scared of him, worried about what he would do were gone.

  Josh was still silently staring at her. Tristan gently grabbed her arm. “Come on, let’s go.” She nodded turning on her heel to walk away she heard Josh behind her hiss through his teeth.

  “Lucky Jackson is dead, he wouldn’t have to see his mother become a whoring groupie.”

  Before she even had time to respond Tristan had turned and punched Josh in the face, sending him to the ground. Stella grabbed Tristan, pushing her body in front of him, staring into his eyes, they were burning with rage. “He’s not worth it Tristan. Please let’s just go,” she pleaded with him. He looked at her, considering what she said, his face softening.

  “Ok,” he said turning to Josh on the ground he threatened. “If you ever talk to her again, if I ever see you again, I will make your life hell. Do you understand me?”

  For the first time she saw fear in Josh’s eyes, he bowed his head away from Tristan as Stella grabbed his arm and lead him away.

  Stella took one last glance at Josh on the floor over her shoulder before walking out the doors, feeling the wind against her skin. She felt free. Free from all the burden and hatred that had consumed her for so many years.

  ***

  Stella stood amongst the tall grass, the wind blowing it in all directions. Standing on top of the hill, all she could see was endless hills of grass and trees, the sheep and cattle in the far paddocks grazing away. The sun was setting, fixing a beautiful ambient light across the fields.

  There was something about the countryside that made her feel at ease, surrounded by the peace and serenity.

  All this time she had blamed herself for what had happened. Guilt over the fact she couldn’t even give her boy a fighting chance. But now she knew there was nothing she could have done, nothing she could have changed to have a different outcome.

  The past couple of months had been nothing but easy, facing her deepest fears. But Tristan had been by her side, showing her the way. Helping her see life the way it truly was. She never could have imagined what it was like to love someone with all your heart, every part of you knowing that they were your soul mate, they were your forever and always.

/>   “What are you thinking about?” she heard Tristan’s voice ask her as she turned her head, he was walking towards her, looking as beautiful as ever.

  “You,” Stella responded, smiling as he walked towards her.

  He held out a white dandelion. Taking it from his hand he said, “Make a wish.”

  Stella turned towards the grassy hills and blew against the dandelion softly, watching it break off in the wind, flying away from her. She made her wish, knowing exactly what it is she wanted.

  She turned into Tristan, looking up at his deep brown eyes. “Without you Tristan I wouldn’t be here today, I wouldn’t be feeling how I am, like the world is a better place, no longer filled with loneliness, heartbreak, and loss. You made me feel alive again, like I’m free to be who I want to be. Free to be happy.” She paused, taking a deep breath she said the three words she never thought she’d say. “I love you.”

  Tristan smiled and took her hand. “I love you too Stella. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you in that hotel lobby, I knew I couldn’t live another day without knowing you. You are beautiful in every way. I want to spend the rest of my life with you-”

  “Marry me Tristan,” Stella interrupted, her breathing hard and heavy.

  Tristan burst into laughter. “Oh Stella, you drive me crazy sometimes.”

  Stella frowned, that was not the answer she was hoping for. “What do you mean?”

  “Well if you’d let me finish,” Tristan said as she watched him drop to one knee, putting his hand in his pocket he pulled out a black velvet box. She looked down at him as he opened it, revealing a beautiful white gold ring with one princess cut diamond stone in the middle, it sparkled as the sun caught it. Tristan held her hand, holding the box in the other. “Stella Green, I couldn’t imagine spending another day without you. You are my life, my love, my best friend. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife and agree to spend the rest of eternity together?”

  Stella smiled down at him, touching his cheek with her hand. “Of course I’ll marry you!” she exclaimed as he picked her up in a hug, kissing her quickly and placing the ring on her finger. “But just so you know, I asked you first.” She laughed as he rolled his eyes at her.

  “I love you so much Stella,” he whispered in her ear, his forehead leaning against hers.

  “I love you too Tristan, always and forever,” Stella replied, knowing she would always love him. He was her rock, her saviour. She loved him in every way that you could love someone, and now she would spend the rest of her life with him, together forever.

  EPILOGUE

  6 Years Later

  “Daddy, Daddy! Sing that song again, please!” Stella heard Sophia yell as she ran through the grassy field.

  Tristan was playing his guitar under one of the large fig trees, while Stella and their daughter Sophia baked his birthday cake inside. But once Sophia had heard Tristan on his guitar she ran out of the door like she was on fire. She loved listening to Tristan sing, he would sing to her as a baby and ever since Sophia had loved his voice.

  Life with Tristan was perfect.

  After their confrontation with Josh years ago, they never heard from him again. Stella didn’t care either, she knew seeking out revenge wouldn’t be the answer. She had said what she wanted to say to him, and couldn’t care less about what happened to him after that, all she cared about is her life now, her future.

  Tristan managed to stop the on-sale of Stella’s story to any other media, and fortunately an A list celebrity had a secret wedding that was discovered by the media the very next day so it quickly took the spotlight away from Stella.

  After their wedding, Tristan had bought the piece of land Stella had always dreamed of owning. Stella had nearly had a heart attack when Tristan drove her to the block of land and told her he bought it for her. Everyone knew the owner didn’t want to sell it, claiming no offer was ever good enough, that is of course until Tristan gave him an offer he couldn’t refuse, one that the owner could gladly retire early off, leaving everyone happy.

  They built their family home on the land, a small and modest place. Stella never cared much for big fancy houses, as long as it felt like a home and not just a house she was happy.

  The day it was completed was also the day she found out she was pregnant, it was a day filled with mixed emotions. Although she had finally begun to accept the death of her son, the thought of the same might happen to her again terrified her.

  Tristan was over the moon about her pregnancy, promising he’d protect her and she would get the best care possible to try and avoid anything bad happening. Stella knew that stillbirth was not always something you could avoid, but Tristan’s calm and positive outlook on it kept her mind at ease.

  He turned out to be right. After a surprisingly peaceful labour, thanks immensely to Tristan’s soothing approach to the whole experience, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Sophia.

  Tristan had filled her heart with love, making her feel whole again, and when she thought she couldn’t love anyone else, Sophia came into their life.

  She was a beautiful little girl, every day she felt herself love her even more. She couldn’t ask for anything more, her life was everything she ever imagined it would be and better.

  Tristan had taught her, not only how to love again, but how to love life and not hold onto the past. He taught her to always remember Jackson, and never hide from herself what happened.

  They still had arguments like every other couple. They didn’t know what the future had in store for them and any heartbreak that might come with it, but they knew together they could do anything, overcome anything.

  They had both found peace within each other, and a love that those lucky enough find.

  “But you’ve heard it a hundred times Soph,” Tristan replied as Sophia jumped in front of him sitting down and crossing her legs.

  “Please Daddy, it’s my favourite.” Sophia looked at Tristan with her biggest puppy dog eyes, pleading with him. She was only three years old, yet she was already well aware of how to persuade Tristan.

  Tristan rolled his eyes. “Fine, but it’s only because you’re the prettiest girl in the whole world.”

  “Hey!” Stella mocked, putting her hands on her hips.

  Tristan laughed, “Of course mummy is pretty too, very beautiful, but Sophia is the prettiest.” He winked at Stella.

  “True, I can’t argue with that,” Stella laughed as she sat down next to Tristan, leaning her back up against the tree, holding her round pregnant belly.

  Tristan started singing their song, Forever Yours, while Sophia watched on eagerly, a smile beaming from ear to ear. No matter how many times Stella had heard him sing it, it never got old. The same feelings she felt long ago she still felt now. She took in a deep breath and rested her head on Tristan’s shoulders, listening to the beautiful words that changed her life forever.

  “…Well my beautiful girl,

  I’m doing something about it, I’m taking a chance.

  I’d do anything to hold you again,

  To love you.

  I’ll be your forever,

  Forever yours, if you’ll have me.

  Stella I’m yours"

  PLAYLIST

  There are songs I listened to while writing this book that inspired me and helped me fall into the magical world of Tristan and Stella.

  Here are a few of my top favourites:

  * Time Stands Still- Uh Huh Her

  * Keep The Streets Empty For Me- Fever Ray

  * Exile Vilify- The National

  * Bloodstream- Stateless

  * A Drop In The Ocean- Ron Rope

  * Be The Song- Foy Vance

  * Be Still- The Fray

  * Medicine- Daughter, Igor Haefeli, Ian Grimble, Elena Tonra

  * Human- Civil Twilight

  * Seven Devils- Florence + The Machine

  * To Build A Home- The Cinematic Orchestra

  * Laura- Bat For Lashes

  * Hanging On- A
ctive Child

  * We Don’t Eat- James Vincent McMorrow

  * Shells of Silver- The Japanese Popstars

  * Duet- Rachel Yamagata

  * White Blank Page- Mumford & Sons

  * Wake Me Up- Ed Sheeran

  * Falling Slowly- The Swell Season

  * Wicked Game- Chris Isaak

  And not forgetting one of my all-time favourite songs that gives me shivers every time I hear it:

  With or Without You- U2

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  I have always been a hopeless romantic. At the early age of fifteen I met my now husband Darby. Together with our daughter Evelyn and dog Rusty, we live in the beautiful state of Queensland, Australia.

  When I’m not spending time with my family, friends, and of course writing, I’m working as a child care educator.

  Forever Yours is my first novel. The story came to me one night as I was falling asleep. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, I create stories in my mind.

  No matter what I did I couldn’t let go of the story so I began writing it down, to only find myself unable to stop.