Blackbird Read online

  Things have undoubtedly changed.

  “It’s settled then, we can all go to breakfast together,” Debbie said happily. “It will be great to get to know you, Claire. You are, after all, the first girl, or should I say woman, Nate has ever introduced to us.”

  “So I’ve heard,” Claire replied, tugging Nate’s arm as they walked towards the building’s lift to take them to the ground.

  Nate looked down at her, and it wasn’t Claire who was nervous anymore, it was Nate.

  And so he should be, she thought to herself. She was about to find out interrogate his mum with questions about Nate. She quietly giggled to herself as she stepped inside of the lift with the others.

  ***

  Debbie, Claire and Emily were in a fit of giggles when Nate spoke up, annoyed by their laughter. “I think that’s about enough stories for one day.”

  “Aww, but I love hearing about it,” Claire said, pouting at him.

  “It was seriously one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen!” Emily said, wiping tears from her eyes. “You sung the shit out of that song, Nate. Best ever cover of ‘Jessie’s Girl’ I have ever heard! And I’m not the only person that thinks so. If I remember correctly you had every thirteen year old girl’s panties in a twist over it.”

  “I guess I should be thanking you for it, Mum,” Nate snapped.

  Debbie’s hands shot up in surrender. “Me? What did I do?”

  “You let your son get up on stage in front of hundreds of people and sing a song for a girl that was years my senior. I was bullied for weeks because of it.”

  Claire rolled her eyes. “I’m sure. I actually bet you were swooned over for weeks by girls wanting to date you.”

  A smile crept on Nate’s lips. “Maybe…”

  Claire looked at him, laughing. “And so began Nate Williams: Mr. Casanova.”

  “Now if I had known that letting him do that would make him into the Casanova he is today, I probably wouldn’t have encouraged it; however, then I would have never had the chance to meet you, Claire,” Debbie said, smiling at Claire.

  “Touché,” Claire said, picking up her juice glass and nodding it in Debbie’s direction. She turned back to Nate. “Will you sing the cover for me one day?” Nate shook his head. “Then again, you probably wouldn’t be anywhere near as good as someone I know,” she teased.

  “You’re not talking about that Tristan kid are you?”

  “He’s not a kid, he’s probably as old as you, and yes I am.”

  “Tristan?” Emily said looking between Nate and Claire in confusion.

  “Tristan Woods,” Claire replied not taking her eyes from Nate’s.

  “As in-”

  “The Tristan Woods, yes,” Claire smirked. Nate’s face was still as hard and serious as ever.

  “Oh-My-God!” Emily squealed.

  “Yeah that was my first reaction when I found out as well,” she said, turning to Emily to see her looking like she was a long lost puppy who’d found its owner.

  “You. Are. So. Lucky,” Emily said, taking her time with each word.

  “Yeah I thought I was at first, but then I found out my sister and him are pretty hung up on each other. Pretty sure they’ve found their forever and always.”

  Nate cut in, “Have you found your forever and always?”

  She looked back at him. Had she?

  “I…”

  She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t really think about forever and always, her mind was usually in the now. She never went into relationships hoping they would end up together forever. But the more she was around Nate, the more she changed her idea of what a relationship should be. Suddenly everything that made sense to her didn’t anymore. Suddenly she wanted more.

  Nate’s eyes never left hers. He was waiting for an answer. No, his eyes were demanding an answer. An answer she couldn’t give.

  “Mmmm, these pancakes are amazing,” Debbie murmured, pulling Nate and Claire from each other’s gaze.

  “I need to use the restroom,” Claire quickly announced, pushing her chair back and walking towards the toilets.

  Breathe.

  She walked towards the basin, looking at herself in the mirror.

  Just when she thought she was making sense of everything and that they could just relax and enjoy their time together it had all gone to shit.

  She leant down and splashed water in her face, keeping her head bowed, trying to gain composure.

  “Do you mind telling me what that was all about?”

  Claire lifted her head to see Emily behind her, staring into her reflection.

  She took a breath and shook her head. “Nothing… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Bullshit.”

  Claire’s mouth fell open. She turned herself to face Emily. “It’s nothing,” she said her voice quavering slightly.

  “You two aren’t really friends are you? You’re together?”

  Claire shook her head. “No, we are just friends.”

  “Are you sure about that?” Emily said, raising one of her eyebrows.

  “Yes I’m sure. I have a boyfriend,” Claire said. Well, she didn’t even know what she and Dave were anymore. They’d barely spoken since the other night, so she wasn’t 100% sure they were even still together.

  “Does Nate know that? I mean, does he know you have a boyfriend?”

  “Of course he does.”

  Emily sighed and rubbed her temple with her finger. “Look I’m just going to say it how it is,” she said looking at Claire straight in the eyes.

  She was Nate’s sister all right.

  “I don’t know you very well, but I do know Nate. Whatever’s going on with you to is serious to him. I’ve never seen him like this with someone, the way he looks at you…”

  “So…”

  “He likes you, Claire. Isn’t it obvious?”’

  Claire’s breathing hitched.

  He likes me?

  “The way you’re staring at me makes me think you don’t have any idea. Do you seriously not see it?”

  Claire’s mind was spinning with a million thoughts, questions. Why was Emily saying this right now? Was she serious? Did Nate really like her?

  “Oh, my. You really don’t see it. I think it’s time you open your eyes and take a look around, Claire. You’d have to be blind to not be able to see how much he likes you.”

  If Emily was right, Claire might quite possibly be the stupidest person on earth.

  “I mean…” Claire paused. “We were together once... twice… but we couldn’t be, it was wrong, so we agreed to only be friends. That’s all we are.”

  “Friends?” Emily shook her head. “Look, whatever you think you guys are, all I wanted to say is to be good to him. Don’t break his heart. He’s been through enough, we all have. He is finally in a good place because of you. Don’t screw it up for him.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Good. Now let’s get back to breakfast,” Emily said, turning and walking out the door.

  Claire stood there staring at the door Emily had just gone through.

  Nate had said he only wanted friendship. Sure, they occasionally flirted, snuggled, spent loads of time together, but there was nothing more to it.

  Sure there isn’t, her inner self mocked her.

  Maybe Emily was right. Maybe Nate liked her. She couldn’t deny that her feelings for Nate were changing. But what did it all mean? What did that mean to her relationship with Nate?

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “I was going to ask you, Nate, if you’re still doing tattoos. I’m thinking about getting one,” Emily said.

  His mum quickly looked at Emily and scorned, “You are not!”

  After breakfast they’d all headed back to Nate’s apartment because his mum wanted to embarrass him even more by playing a DVD of Nate growing up that she’d had transferred from tape as a gift for him.

  When the trip down memory lane had finally finished, they’d move out to th
e parking lot to say goodbye.

  “Mum, please, I’m old enough now,” Emily said, rolling her eyes at her mum.

  “So, I still don’t want you getting one.”

  “But Nate’s covered in them!”

  “Yes well, that doesn’t make it okay,” Debbie replied.

  Emily shook her head, frustrated. “Anyway, Nate, what do you say?”

  “I’m not really doing them anymore,” he responded.

  “What do you mean you’re not doing them anymore?” Claire asked.

  “What are you doing for work then?” his mum asked.

  “Yeah, Nate,” Emily also chimed in.

  This was not a conversation he’d wanted to have, especially with the three most intimating women he’d ever met.

  “I’m not getting into it. Let’s just leave it at that, please,” he said sternly, not waiting for them to push the subject.

  Emily snapped back, “Fine.”

  His mum took this opportunity to lean forward and hug Claire. “It was so great to meet you, Claire. We’ll all have to do this again very soon.”

  “Definitely,” Claire replied.

  Nate leant forward and hugged his mum as well, catching sight of Emily and Claire hugging. Emily’s face looked concerned as she hugged Claire, whispering something in her ear.

  “It was good seeing you, Nate. Talk soon,” his mum said.

  Nate smiled in reply. He quickly hugged his sister, then watched his mum and sister walk to their car. He waved at them as they beeped their horn and drove off.

  He turned to Claire. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  She nervously smiled back to him. “It was fine.”

  “Is something wrong?”

  “No, nothing’s wrong,” she said quickly, shaking it off.

  There was something wrong. Midway through their breakfast, Claire’s mood had changed. She tried to cover it, but he knew something was up.

  Claire continued, “Anyway you have to tell me what’s up with the whole ‘not doing tattoos anymore?’”

  Couldn’t she get the hint?

  Nate wasn’t about to be grilled about how he had no job and couldn’t be a tattoo artist again. He moved to walk past her. She grabbed his arm forcefully.

  “Hey! Don’t just walk off like that. What’s going on? Why aren’t you doing it anymore?” Claire questioned, holding his arm tight.

  He could have easily manoeuvred his arm from her grip but he didn’t.

  “Maybe I don’t want to anymore.”

  “But you love it. You wouldn’t just stop. You’re lying,” she accused.

  Nate grunted. “Just let it go, Claire.”

  “No. I’m not letting it go until you tell me.”

  Stubborn little shit.

  “I can’t, okay? I can’t tattoo anymore,” he blurted out. “Happy?”

  Claire released her grip on him. “What do you mean you can’t? Did someone tell you that you can’t?”

  “No. But I know I can’t.”

  “You are talking to a physiotherapist Nate,” she said, looking at him. “Hold up your hand?”

  “Why?”

  Claire snapped, “Just do it, Nate.”

  He held his hand out to her, irritated by her forcefulness.

  She inspected his hand, pulling and massaging it. “Movement and mobility seem fine,” she muttered. “Trace the lines on my palm with your finger.”

  She held her hand up. Nate pointed it towards her line and gently followed it. He held her eyes, watching her breathing change its pace. He moved onto the next line licking his bottom lip for good measure. Claire’s eyes shot to his mouth, her lips slightly parting.

  He couldn’t’ help but grin at how easily he had just changed the atmosphere by one touch.

  Claire obviously noticed his smile and quickly shut her hand, pulling it back towards her chest.

  She stuttered, “Physically- your hand looks fine.”

  “I know.”

  Claire’s eyes narrowed. “You know?”

  He grinned again. “I know. Physically my hand is fine.”

  “Then why...?” She looked at him in annoyance. “You’re such a dick sometimes! Why did you let me look at your hand if it was fine?”

  Nate shrugged. “You’re pretty demanding when you want to be.”

  “Then what’s wrong? Why won’t you?”

  “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I guess after everything that happened, I kind of feel like I can’t do it. Like I’m not good enough for it anymore.”

  Silence.

  Claire studied him. Nate returned her gaze.

  “Tattoo me,” she said after a few minutes.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I want you to tattoo me,” she replied.

  “But-”

  She placed her finger on his lips. “No buts.”

  One day, most likely in the near future, he would figure this girl out. She never ceased to surprise him, challenge him, and she always had a way of making him feel thoroughly irritated and happy at the same time.

  ***

  Nate wiped her wrist. Holding it tight, he leant forward to press the needle in.

  “Don’t make me regret this,” Claire warned.

  He pressed the needle in, holding his concentration as he moved it across the outline on her skin. Thankfully, the moment the needle touched her skin, his nerves disappeared. The many hours of tattooing people made his movements come back to him, everything feeling like second nature, and thank god for that.

  He didn’t like the idea of tattooing Claire after it had been so long since he’d tattooed someone. He was scared he’d stuff it up. Claire’s skin, to Nate, was perfect, unflawed. If he stuffed it up, even a mark out of place she would be left with it forever. Claire wouldn’t let it go though, and hassled him till he agreed to do it.

  His old boss was ecstatic to see him again when they’d arrived at the parlour. He’d told him if he ever wanted his job back it would be there. Claire had then agreed on behalf of Nate that he would come back for sure.

  “So why a bird tattoo?” he asked Claire as she looked down nervously at him.

  “I wanted a tattoo that meant something to me. One that symbolized my ideals that I could look at every day and remind myself of who I am and who I want to be…”

  “Which is…?”

  He stopped and looked up at her for a brief moment.

  “Free,” she replied. “Free to be who I am. Free to go where I dream about, free to make my own choices.”

  Her phone beeped a message. He watched her look at it out of the corner of her eye.

  “Speaking of,” she mumbled.

  She typed a reply back and put the phone back in her pocket, sighing.

  He guessed it was Dave. He was desperate to know what was happening with them, if they were even still together. He wanted her to tell him, but when it came to Dave she rarely spoke about him, and when she did it was only a reminder that she had a boyfriend.

  Fuck it, he thought. I’m asking.

  “So what’s happening with Dave, anyway? Have you two sorted everything out since the other night?” he asked, head down and focusing on the shading of the tattoo.

  “Um, yeah. Kind of,” she replied. “This project he is working on while he is away is really important so we’ve decided to wait until he gets back to talk about things.”

  “Sounds serious.”

  “Yep.”

  He stopped and looked up at her. “You know I’m here for you, Claire. If you need someone to talk to, somewhere to stay. Anything. I’m here.”

  He softly stroked her wrist with his thumb, feeling the delicate skin beneath his. Their palms touched as he felt her fingers graze his skin.

  They both looked down at their hands, watching them move together. They’d held hands before, their skins had touched before, but there was something about this moment that was different.

  They continued to touch each other cautiously, slowly, until the tips of
their fingers touched.

  In that moment, Nate was lost.

  He’d experienced passion, heat, bodies moving as one. Being touched in ways he’d never imagined, feeling everything. But this… This was the most he had ever felt. A simple interaction between two people had his heart racing.

  The next thing he did was probably the dickiest thing he’d ever done in his life. He kissed her hand like a gentlemen would to a lady, and boy did it have its desired effect. He heard Claire take a sharp breath, making his own breath seize.

  With his head still down he gazed up at her, her hand still in his.

  He wanted to claim her. Make her his. But if his dad had taught him anything it was that he needed to respect her relationship, even if he wasn’t sure if there was one.

  Watching those home movies had made him miss his dad even more. It made him realize how much he wanted to make his dad proud. He wasn’t the same guy he was months ago. He couldn’t explain why he was so hung up on Claire, all he knew was that she made him a better person and all he wanted was to be with her, not as some one night stand but as a girlfriend. One that he could spend his days and nights loving with everything he had.

  So instead of taking any more advantage of the situation he pulled his hand back and started cleaning up his equipment. “You’re all done,” he said, not making eye contact with her.

  She sat there speechless for a few seconds, then stood up. “Thanks, Nate. It looks great,” she said, admiring the small sparrow on her wrist.

  “I should be the one thanking you,” he said, taking the chance and looking back at her. “I’m going to take to being a tattoo artist again. I missed it.”

  Claire smiled and leapt forward quickly. hugging him. “That’s great, Nate!”

  And we’re back to normal.

  She pulled back from her hug. “You’re still coming tonight, yeah?”

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he replied.

  Any chance to hang out with you again.