Blackbird Page 10

  “I love you too, Mum. Yes, everything’s fine. Jackie is doing good, too. Yeah, I know you want grandkids. Don’t mention that, Mum. I was a teenage boy I didn’t know doing that could make me infertile.”

  Claire burst out laughing. Nate quickly grabbed her and pushed her up against the shed, hand on her mouth.

  He smiled and put his finger to his lips to keep her quiet.

  “Hold on a second, I thought I heard something,” Tim said.

  Nate pressed himself against her, trying his best to hide themselves in the shadows.

  Claire’s expression turned serious as he removed his hand from her mouth. He traced his thumb on her jawline.

  “Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he whispered so only she could hear.

  The skin on her chest flushed and her breathing quickened. She was beautiful. She was…too good for him.

  “No it’s fine, Mum. What were you saying? I’ve promised not to use it like that again. Yes I know it’s unhygienic. Jeez can we stop talking about my penis!”

  Both Claire and Nate smiled now.

  If Tim had any idea they were listening to his conversation right now, he laughed to himself.

  They both listened as Tim’s voice trailed off and knew he must be out of distance now.

  “So what were you saying about dancing?” he said, stepping back from her.

  She smiled. “Ready when you are.”

  They made their way back through the crowded room to the dance floor. Nate was thankful when they reached the dance floor and Claire hung her arms around his head. All night he’d been getting attention from the women in the room, all trying to bat their fucking eyelids at him, and groping him when Claire wasn’t looking. At least this way they would get the clue that he was with someone. Well at least it looked like he was with Claire.

  Any other time a chick grabbed his dick he’d be all over it, but not tonight, not now.

  ‘Midnight City’ by M83 came over the speakers sending everyone into a dance frenzy. Claire ground her hips against him, their bodies moving as one to the beat. Her body fit so perfectly against his.

  She was like a ray of light in the dark. The bodies around her moved like shadows in the dark. He could only see her. She was right when she’d said she looked different tonight. She wasn’t like the other girls. She stood before him in all her beauty. She was pure and he was corrupting her.

  This is wrong, he told himself.

  “Claire-”

  She placed her finger on his lips. “Shhh. Let’s just have this moment, if that’s all we’re to have.”

  Why he felt his heart twist in that moment he couldn’t tell you. If that’s all we’re to have…

  A part of him told himself to walk away now, she had a boyfriend, nothing would happen between them, she had even told him that. He didn’t stand a chance.

  But he didn’t walk instead he stayed with her and they danced together all night long until they couldn’t dance anymore and it was time to go home.

  “Did you want the driver to take you back to your house?” Nate asked as they jumped into the taxi.

  Claire replied, “Can I sleep at yours tonight? Only as friends, of course. I just don’t want to go back to my place right now. Tristan is back and the paparazzi will no doubt be outside the house camping out. Me turning up at this hour would look bad.”

  He hadn’t expected she would ask to stay at his house.

  “I’ve got a spare room, so you can stay at mine if you want.”

  “Thanks, that would be good.” She sighed deeply, snuggling into the side of his shirt.

  Her head rested on his chest, such a simple act that felt so normal, like a force of habit.

  Although the taxi ride back to his place was short, Claire fell asleep. She must have been exhausted so he didn’t wake her. Instead he paid the driver and carried her to his apartment. It wasn’t hard. She was light as a feather. Once inside his apartment he took her to the spare room and laid her down on the bed.

  He quietly took off her shoes. Sliding the tutu down her hips and legs, he put her body under the covers.

  She stirred in her sleep. “Did I fall asleep?” she grumbled, her eyes still closed.

  “You did. But you can go back to sleep now. You’re in the spare bedroom,” he said softly.

  “Thank you Nate. For everything.” She took a deep breath. “You deserve the world and I wish I was the one to give it to you, but I can’t, and I’m sorry if I led you on to think I that I could. Someone will make you happy one day Nate, it just won’t be me…”

  Nate watched her drift back to sleep, her peaceful eyes closing gently.

  He brushed the fallen hair off her face.

  For the first time in his life, he wanted that happiness with someone. He wanted that happiness with Claire. She challenged him, made him want to be better, do better. She made him feel. She was perfect in every way. He knew he would do anything for her, be anyone for her. He’d protect her at all costs and would make it his legacy to bring only happiness into her life.

  Fuck.

  It all made sense now, everything he had felt over the past few months. Claire. It was Claire.

  I’m in love.

  He was in love. In love with a girl he could never have.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  The next morning Nate found himself alone. Claire was nowhere to be seen, only a note left on his kitchen bench.

  Nate,

  Thank you for last night. I had a great time. We should do it again soon.

  Please know that what I said last night still stands. I really do like you Nate, but I’m not the girl for you. You’re a great friend and I don’t want to lose you.

  Talk soon.

  Love Claire

  Thanks for the reminder, Nate thought, rolling his eyes.

  If that wasn’t proof enough she didn’t like him as any more than a friend, then he didn’t know what was.

  He wasn’t about to give up just yet. For the first time in his life he had found love in another woman and there was no way in hell he would walk away without giving it the best fight he could give.

  If friends was all they were going to be, then he would have to live with it, but he was going to be the best damn friend anyone could have. All he could do was hope, hope that one day she could see him the way he saw her.

  ***

  Claire knew that reminding Nate of what their relationship was, was important. She couldn’t have him thinking there was anything more to it than there was. Even though she had fought with Dave, she was still his girlfriend. Well, she thought she was anyway.

  When she pulled up into her driveway, she noticed Dave’s car parked in the street. She didn’t see him in the car, so Tristan or Stella must have let him into the house already.

  When she opened the door into the house and walked towards the living room, she hoped Dave would be apologizing for what he had said because Claire was in no shape for an argument. She’d had had just under four hours’ sleep and felt exhausted. Lazing about on the couch was the only thing she was interested in today.

  “Claire,” Dave’s voice called from the living room.

  She turned into the living room to find Dave standing in front of one of the couches.

  “Hey,” she said calmly.

  Dave looked concerned until he noticed her outfit and the fact that she just looked like she’d just gotten out of bed.

  Dave snapped, “Where have you been?”

  Claire dropped her clutch and keys onto the couch.

  She took a deep breath and spoke peacefully, “I went to a Halloween party last night.”

  “With who?”

  “A friend.”

  “What friend?”

  His face was angry now; his voice remained sharp.

  “Do you know what, Dave? I’m not really in the mood for a fight. If you’re going to try and have a go at me, there’s the door. Leave.” She motioned her hands towards the door and walked upstairs to her room, pulling her h
air out of its tangled bun.

  He didn’t say anything, but she knew he was following her by the sound of his footsteps behind her. When she reached the main bathroom she opened the door and entered, taking her clothes off in the process.

  She desperately needed a shower to not only get clean, but to calm herself down. She was so close to losing it with Dave.

  She could see him out of the corner of her eye, leaning against the doorframe as she undressed.

  “Should I be worried?”

  She pulled the rest of her leotard off, leaving her in her underwear.

  “Worried about what?” she asked.

  “Us. Last night,” he replied, his voice slightly calmer than before.

  She rubbed her eyebrows with her fingers, feeling the onset of headache coming.

  “I don’t know, Dave. What you said last night about women and sports just doesn’t sit right with me. If I want to go surfing, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

  “Okay, if that’s what you want.”

  “It is.”

  “Are we still together? I mean, last night you didn’t-?”

  “No, Dave. I didn’t do anything. I went out and had fun. Yes we are still together.” She watched his shoulders relax. “But I’m still mad about what you said. I’m my own person, and I won’t be controlled by anyone.”

  She didn’t want him to misunderstand anything she was trying to tell him, that’s why she said it with extreme certainty. She was her own person. Independent and strong. She didn’t want someone dictating her life.

  “Okay.” He nodded in reply.

  “Good, now I need a shower,” she said, stepping out of her undies and taking off her bra.

  “Can I join you?”

  Truthfully she didn’t really want him to join her. She wanted to be alone to think. Somehow she couldn’t help but wonder if his change of attitude was only because she was undressing herself for a shower. She hadn’t intended on him watching her undress, but she knew how easily a man’s mind could change with the possibility of sex involved. That made her uneasy. Were his thoughts clouded when he agreed not to control her?

  She knew deep down that this wasn’t going to be the last time she was going to see controlling Dave. It was a side of him that she had barely noticed before, but now she was aware of it, she remembered little acts of dominance and controlling that she had taken no notice of.

  Would that side of him impact their relationship?

  She turned the taps on and turned to him, expecting to see him still dressed. Instead he was already half naked.

  His body was beautiful, clean and unmarked, unlike Nate’s. Nate’s body was also beautifully sculptured, but was marked, marked with scars and stories. Stories of adventure, hurt, betrayal, heartache and love. His body was an art piece, a gorgeous, sexy art piece.

  But she couldn’t compare the two. She wouldn’t compare them.

  “Come on, then,” she said, winking.

  Dave grinned and dropped his briefs at lightning speed, leaving him naked in all his glory.

  He stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around her, claiming her lips.

  ***

  Hot, sexy, shower sex would normally have had Claire feeling weak at the knees at the thought, but not this time.

  She wanted to blame her hangover or their fight, but she knew it was something more. They’d been so close in the shower to having sex, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Instead she’d made up a lame excuse and left Dave in the shower, hard as a rock.

  She tried willing her body to want it, to want to be with Dave, but she couldn’t. Whatever was wrong with her, it made her not want to be with him intimately. It was like her mind was telling her to be with Dave, to love him and kiss him fiercely, to lose herself with him, but her body said no. She couldn’t get the thought out of head the next few hours at work that day, until her lunch break.

  Her weekend job was at a local video store. It wasn’t the best pay, but it was enough for her until she found a full time job next now that she had finished Uni. She quickly texted Dave on her break, letting him know she was coming around to his place after work.

  After this weekend they needed some quality time together.

  Her phone beeped with a message. She thought it was Dave replying to her, but then she saw Nate’s name come across the screen.

  N- Hey! What you up to tomorrow morning? The swell is picking up, should be awesome for a surf xo

  Claire quickly replied,

  C- No plans, but would love to go for a surf!

  She hesitated for a moment. Nate had ended his text message with a xo. Should she do it also? She did it with all her friends, but Nate was different.

  She clicked send, deciding against the xo so it wouldn’t send any conflicting messages.

  N- Cool, pick me up at 6 in the morning?

  C- Sure, no worries.

  N- Thanks! Sorry to be a pain, not being able to drive sucks.

  C- You’ll be able to drive again before you know it, and then you can drive me around everywhere!

  N- Can’t wait, you’ll love my motorbike :)

  C- You drive a motorbike?!

  N- Of course I do! Don’t all bad boys? ;)

  Claire shook her head in disbelief. Of course Nate owned a motorbike.

  C- Aren’t you worried you’ll hurt yourself again?

  N- Of course I’m worried, but it’s not going to stop me. My life is different now. I won’t make the same mistakes again, but I’m still going to take chances. What’s life without a bit of excitement and thrill?

  C- Just make sure you drive safely then, and wear a helmet.

  N- Yes, Mum!

  C- I’m serious! I don’t want to see you hurt again.

  N- Does Claire Green care about my safety and welfare?

  C- Of course I care about you, Nate. I’ve always cared about you.

  N- :)

  Claire rolled her eyes. Was it so hard to believe that she cared about him, as a friend?

  C- I’ve got to get back to work, my break’s nearly over.

  N- Are you working today? Where at?

  C- Yeah I work some weekends at a video store.

  N- Which one?

  C- What, so you can stalk me?

  N- Maybe ;)

  C- I’m not telling you then :)

  N- Fine, but I have ways of finding out.

  C- Sure… Bye, Nate

  N- Bye, Claire xo

  Just as she was putting her phone in her bag she heard it beep and saw a message from Dave.

  D- Hey, babe. Sorry I’ve got plans with some of the guys from work this arvo, can I see you tomorrow after I finish work?

  C- Sure xo

  D- Great, I’ll message you then xo.

  So much for some quality time together, she thought.

  A couple hours later, she was nearing the end of her shift when the last person she expected walked through the door. Nate.

  She stared at him speechless as he approached the counter grinning.

  “Finally I found you. I was starting to think you’d lied to me about working at a video store.”

  “How did you find me?”

  “Let’s just say I’ve visited nearly every video store on the coast.”

  “You’re kidding?”

  She couldn’t believe he’d just driven around the whole coast trying to find her.

  “Does it look like I’m kidding? How else would I have found you?”

  He had a point.

  A smile formed on her lips. “How many stores did you go to?”

  “Enough to know that it was a stupid idea.”

  Claire laughed. “You’re crazy.”

  He shrugged. “I wanted to see you.”

  “How come you wanted to see me?”

  His eyes narrowed. “Can’t I want to see you?”

  Claire shook her head. “Of course you can want to see me, but did you have a specific reason for coming all the way here when I’m seeing yo
u tomorrow?”

  He smiled again. “Well, actually I was wondering what time you finished work?”

  She looked up at the clock on the nearby wall. “I finish in about twenty minutes.”

  “Did you want to rent a movie out and we can go back to yours or mine to watch it?”

  A thought struck Claire. “Hold on. You can’t drive. Did you catch a bus to all the video stores?”

  “Why do you think it took me two hours to find you?” he smirked.

  “Wow.”

  “The least you could do for my troubles is watching a movie with me?” he grinned.

  Maybe this was his plan all along.

  A movie date with Nate? Could she do that? Would that be wrong?

  Nate placed his hands on the counter and leaned towards her. “Stop over-analysing it, Claire. It’s just two friends watching a movie together. I’ll even let you pick the movie.”

  She was over-analysing it.

  “Okay, fine,” she agreed.

  He pulled his hands off the counter, grinning in satisfaction.

  “But whatever movie I pick, you can’t complain. Even if it’s a chick flick,” she teased.

  “For the sake of my sanity, please don’t pick a shit movie.”

  Claire just laughed. She had a million different sappy love movies she could make him watch. Just seeing him squirm in his seat would make up for all the times he had annoyed her in the past, but she knew she wouldn’t do that to him.

  “Maybe you should pick the movie, then.”

  Nate’s smiled lit up at her suggestion.

  “No horror movies! Or blood and guts type of movie.”

  He threw his hands up in innocence. “I promise.”

  Claire rolled her eyes. Like Nate could be trusted.

  She watched him walk confidently towards the DVD aisle, straight for the horror section. He turned and flashed a lopsided grin at her.

  Claire frowned and shook her head.

  Nate watched her reaction and laughed before turning down the new release aisle.